All Blog Posts (165)

What i watched today in Youtube. I just reminded me that how harsd i am still clinging into that body mind entity. That i know this freedom stuff and that there is beingness not body mind who am i. 

Still i cling on that so called physical I who has the name and parents and so on.

He has made all so easy and i know it is easy, only thing what comes between is that body/mind ( aka ego ).And with that mind, damn itis like whirling storm , something "iteresting" pops ind…

an empty shell. I literally fel that way, if you could imagine a barrel what is empty and full of nothing. It is somewhat strange, scary and full of curiousity.

Don´t know have other releasers experienced similar state. But for me it is something new.  Like from where it came.

I stuck on that lil piece of writing in one webpage, where they had a introductory writing about Pamela Wilson.

That whole post was such a " yeah i know and big smile " moment for me that i thought to post it here.

Well have not done the releasing,as it has been done by many of , for a longer period of time. I just feel when energy of emotion flushes out of me for a moment i kind of…

Happiness has no origin... does not have a beginning not even an end. Happiness is that in or on which everything appears and disappears because is only happy to be so. Happiness is an experience it is not an object that can be measured. If you want to enjoy happiness, that which wants to enjoy happiness is an "idea" or a thought that you have about happiness in other words an object known as "want or lack." 
This object can be now released for not existing... as it's only an idea, that up…

i don´t know

and then from somewhere came, what is written below.

Be Nothing, Be All

Be Enlightement, Be the One

I was so angry and down, due all the ones who supposedly reached that Lester and Raman and Budha and all other just…

I today took all the relationships regarding males in my life and visualised all them in the ow as pictures and  started to forgive.

Then one by one i separately sed every person: i love you and forgive you.

I tooks the aroach as me ( egomind ) will forgive. Since i get diluted to that me as awareness and me as bodyegomind and it messes things up. Me as awareness do not to forgive, me as a awareness loves. Who needs to foribe is this egomind and final step is that there…

how can you lvoe someone fully, if you don't love yourself fully
truly.
When you emit love,love finds you. 

You are not releasing fully honey, and that is the problem.

How true it can be , no words but the realization what i got. Yes i do not. I left out some other parts. Maybe what i posted now will be helpful also to others.

I had chance to have 100 EUR bank note at home, so i thoght to use it as a trigger to bring up the money issues.

Also cince i needed to make today a prepayment, i felt it brought up really strong feelings.

So , wat i got the :D a control, i desperately want to control all money related. Fear, unsecurity and want aproval. That want aproval was a kind of surprise . Whos aproval do i nee , afterall :D

I went further, by asking : How do i feel of having the…

When i read about something from the net and found that quotation.

"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

Well it brought up the thing what i have sed many times for myself. When i now read about it i now remember it. So i have blocked basically all my abilities ( imaginable, unimaginable ) with that quotation  .

Isn´t it that " wherein did i cause this to happen to me? " 

That makes me laug.. how true it…

To myself?

Even if i do not deserve it.

Even if i am not worth of it.

Even if this is all just a words.

Even if there is no meaning behind.

Even if this is just one big mumbojambo.

Could you give yourself some unconditional love and light?

Going back and telling the story is simply reliving the emotions. Why? It brings our emotional center (our amygdala) online.



"The amygdala is an almond shaped mass of nuclei located deep within the temporal lobe of the brain. It is a limbic system structure that is involved in many of our emotions and motivations, particularly those that are related to survival. The amygdala is…

I enjoy swimming and like to go to the local pool a couple of times a week, sometimes more.

I love the feel of gliding through the soft water, however I do not like the lingering smell of chlorine on my skin that lasts through the day, despite a shower after the swim.

So, I treated myself to some upmarket weleda wild rose body wash and wild rose body lotion, and it worked a treat..plus it gave my body some TLC and was a demonstration of abundance as I choice that rather than a…

He has someone else :/

I saw the together and it stirred up a huge maountain of feelings.

Tho i felt love towards him.

I am sad , i know we can be together, but when..

I f you once have felt a love, you do not never forget that.This deep love not the one what puts conditions.

Him into my life as a true love, not as a filler of something what i lack.

If i reach this , he is back.

Again in deep black hole.

I just had a thoughts in mind , that why i am here. Whatś the point of being here.Whatś the point of all this releasing and stuff if things not improve ( strongly related with a relationship ). Actually this all was related to a relationship with someone dearest.



I´m so damn weak that i could not even end that experience here . And first of all if i´am beingness then why do i need to end it at all. Since it is pure energy, i can just dissolve that…

It is not nice to copy it here, but since i visit that space often than any other i sill do copy:

What am I grateful for right now?

Whatever comes up in response to the question I would write down and then do this process on each item:

Could I welcome that and all feelings that brings up inside me including gratitude?

Could I welcome any wanting to do anything with or about that including hold onto that?

Could I welcome any sense that is personal, about me or…

To go free ! Since i know i have then all ( well i have all now and i am free now and so on i know, tho i´m still clinging on on something.. )

I try to get myself to the final step camp :D tho it is only for graduates, but i am sure i can get there even if i haven´t graduated the goals ( errmm ) course . So the expenses are somewhat hard for me, but hey what for i then have that book and stuff :D!

Well see what gonna happen.

Is the sense when you feel like you are bigger than that body, bigger than the room you are in and so on.

Will continue to to my releasing and well also i try to remember to let go the feeling, sensation that i´m bigger than the surroundings i´m in :D

Apparently yes, cause i want to let them free :D

So this is the thing i am doing with that releasing, also i try to control my experiences and body . Cause i do that releasing.

Between freedom and no freedom, there is those stories.

Did today the basic questions about the body, freedom,myself, money and about someone special. Will continue the rest of the evening i suppose with another half of these clearup questions. Well see what…