All Blog Posts (159)

"CHANGE HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET GO OF THE NEED TO BE THE SAME" 

[Melissa Joy-Matrix Energetics]

This line was on one of the Matrix Energetics audios [Into the Matrix] and it really resonated with me. All the little things we think we need to let go of to create personal change is coming at it in a very slow way. When we are ready to let go of needing to be the SAME, be it holding on to…

I have entered some sort of mental confusion, sometimes I feel like I am dying, there is a lot of talk of death around me - my relatives talk about it, I hear people in the street talking about it. I am experiencing an acute fear of death. I guess that's what is required...

It turns out that I've spent most of my life trying to control and change my circumstances because of the erroneous idea that I should be able to. Therefore, my relationship with reality was a mixture of either running away from it or or resisting it or trying to change it. It is an exhausting process! Have I been successful at it? Most of the time no. And as I was "failing" more and more at the hopeless enterprise, I was getting angrier and angrier with myself. And of course, I needed to…

Do you feel tired, or lethargic, and find it hard to concentrate during the day due to poor sleeping patterns, or poor quality sleep? Do you struggle to get to sleep at night? Is you mind overactive at night and won't settle down? Do you struggle to "rest your mind" for more than a few minutes at a time? Do you wake up and feel more exhausted than when you went to bed?

You do not need to continue forever tossing and turning throughout the night, and feeling below par the next day! You…

My parents were bringing me up to be perfect. In fact, when I was born, they bought Doctor Spock and followed all the rules in it. As I was growing up I was introduced to many "rules" - you must be honest, you must be generous, you must respect elders and listen to them, you must help others, I have even been told that I must love my sister. All of this was rooted in fear. I followed most of these rules out of fear of what will happen if I don't. I still do not know how to love...

I do not know what other people's experience with these are, but I find them quite relaxing, they help to shift quite a lot of "energy".

I could not finish the breathing exercise yesterday, as the amount of energy coming up was too uncomfortable, this happened before. I tried doing it "one breath at a time", but still I could not stand it.

My heart is yet with my attachments and aversions...

This idea has been floating around my mind. When Lester "went free" he came back for the life of service, he did not wallow in "now I am happy with myself, my body image, my financial circumstances and the fact that I get parking spaces and nice rooms at hotels". I listened to some of his talks, and a lot of it is about us not being a body, being presence. OK, I will one day get it that I am not a body, I am presence. Then what, - will I be spreading a message of the end of suffering? 

See above

I have a feeling I have been doing it all wrong - the breathing exercises were "not perfect", my releasing was not good enough, and I have not been repeating the statements all day long with focusing on the breath. I want to finish the process anyway and take it as a "test drive". It became very difficult to read the book, all of a sudden I cannot read more then a sentence at a time.

I think in terms of efforts, I gave it 6 out of 10. Is that my perfectionism talking?

SEE ABOVE

It will sound so trivial, it is embarassing. But here we are - I am present to frustrating feelings about my career. Firstly, almost everything I have done, I've done out of obligation or fear and I had to push myself to do it. Why did I push myself? I did not want to fail. Fail for who? People around me. I did not want to be a failure in their eyes. Why did not I find something that would really satisfy me? I was too busy maintaining the illusion of success in the areas I had no interest in…

Dear all, 

Happy new year!

I wanted to start a discussion on the experiences with the Welcome Kit.   As you know, one can have a free coaching session (mine was with Chuck) with no obligation to take any further steps.

I took the session and it was very good.  I had been releasing for a few months already when I took the session but Chuck guided me to be able to release some areas I was feeling stuck with.  

The first session was so good that I decided to…

There are a number of issues that I have been banging my head against the wall with for a few years now. On and off I tried releasing on them, and I would reach a point where I did not care anymore.  I thought that was hootlessness, but now I suspect it was apathy or boredom. 

Now with the presence process I am somehow developing a sence of trust, I think it comes with listening to the part of myself MB refers to as "child". I am beginning to sense it now. It is very upset and it…

Since I started the process, the main theme is the relationship with my mother. I desperately need to detach. 

I grew up with alcoholism, my mother being a typical co-dependent. When I was 10 or eleven, I became immersed in my mother's suffering and unhappiness. Until then I had quite a gregarious personality and I was very happy, but my mind accepted the idea that things were very bad, we were not like other families and nothing good was available to us because my father was…

I've had a bizzare relationship with food since I was a little girl. What do I mean by bizzare? I started dieting when I was about 11, as I decided that my weight - or body shape - or me in general (now I am not sure of the precise form that idea took) - that it was not OK. BUT I COULD RESTRICT MY FOOD INTAKE OR ELIMINATE IT AT ALL AND THEN I WAS GOING TO BE .... Again the outcome was not clearly defined, but I was hoping to become something other than who I was - perfect or in control or…

Did not you understand, Natalia, what Michael Brown said - dismiss all messengers. But I am still spending entire days raging at my parents. I have more success with other "messengers" but when it comes to mum and dad... It seems that their relationship with me can be summed up in one short word "NO": you can't, you won't be able to, you are not talented enough, it's just a fantasy and will never happen, you must, you have to. In shoft this is the story of my life. Even when amazing…

I come from a very poor family. I have moved away from them and lived in another country for 20 years. Recently I moved to my home town and have been feeling really uncomfortable about discussing financial issues with the family. I can't tell you what a charged subject it is. They all want to know how much money I have saved, how much I am making, and since I would not disclose the information the relationship became very tense. They are acting as "financial victims" with constant…

I have no idea where all the thoughts and insights are coming at me. I do not know what I expected from this process. I tried many things with some results, but none of them have been life changing. And now - I am beginning to trust something, well, that's not exactly true - I am beginning to trust God that I am discovering for myself. Wow!

On the other hand, I am waking up to the way things are - for many years I felt that there is very little love in our family. I tried to…

I have discovered an interesting pattern running in my energy body - I am blocking my desires. I am so scared of them that I would block them than start considering them. The block is at the solar plexus level, when I put my attention there I feel intense heat coming up. What will happen if I welcome it? It is scary